These Pills

I’m tired of shoving them down my throat.

I’m sinking onto the dangerous level of beginning to feel that I don’t need these medications, and that they’re making me worse.

I’m now dealing with extrapyramidal symptoms (EPS). I keep shaking. My head is bobbing and, because of that, my torso shakes too. They took out Akineton from the market, and that was the only thing that stopped my shaking. Akidin, the other brand of biperiden, does not work as well. The other day I took 3 doses and nothing happened!

I am annoyed, and tired.

I’m also beginning to feel that I am not sick. And that is dangerous because then, I don’t feel I need the medicines.

Oh god, what is happening to me?!

I used to scoff at the idea that some people think that way, and yet here I am, doing the exact same thing.

I guess I reached my limit: I’ve had to grapple with Seroquel weight gain (30 pounds!), and then a 2-week nausea from Topamax. It is NOT FUN. I lost my appetite and I missed enjoying food. Good thing though, I lost the Seroquel weight.

I don’t want to consult with my psychiatrist because I don’t want new medication added. My delusions are raging at this point. Last week, I was really afraid that vampires would attack us simply because I thought of it.

I am paranoid, scared and confused.

You think anything can save me now?

I doubt it.

 

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