May 20, 2009
You could cure me, you know.
You can take away this loneliness, this confusion, this dire need for company.
You can take it all away.
You can take away the pain; the endless night stretches out before me and I am lonely in its wake.
You really can stop this despair.
But you choose not to, and that makes all the difference.
May 18, 2009
You.
You in your anger; you in your lonely confusion; you in your sadness.
I’ve given up, as simple as that, in trying to fathom your abyssmal mind.
Shrewd conquests, lonely bottles and masquerades: they make up our past but never our future.
I insist on being fixated by you and I don’t know why.
Oh God, please tell me why.
May 15, 2009
The Remeron is making me feel like a zombie. I can’t hold up a decent conversation anymore.
And I’ll always drowsy.
The 2mg clonazepam isn’t doing its job either. I don’t feel sleepy at all when I take it. I’m using it as an escape from the loneliness that surrounds me now.
—
You’re gone.
I’m all alone again..
I think I’ve been replaced already.
This feeling hurts and I want to go to national bookstore to buy a cutter. Which I will do when I log off.